It’s a convicting question and I’m learning to hold it up to all areas of my life.
I’ve been lucky to have close friends through all stages of my life; women that have known the true me. As a single person it was easy to devote my attention to them, especially in college. I could grab coffee anytime and stay out late talking about guys and dreaming about the future. In college we spent time planning pranks and squeezed into dorm rooms binge watching The OC. It was easy to be close when we were constantly together. I would say goodnight, close my door and then chat with them over breakfast the next morning before class.
Then I got married.
My friendships didn’t disappear but they were forced to change. As newlyweds, we entered the season of making “couple friends”. Fast forward five years, two babies and one move... and I’m still learning how to navigate the changes in friendship. My husband and my children get most of me. They are the owners of my heart and the demanders of my time. While I admit a coffee date without kids or a quick walk through Target alone is like a vacation, I truly enjoy being with my family. But I occasionally miss the mark when it comes to prioritizing my own need for authentic relationships and our need as a couple. Authentic relationships ARE important. I’ve let my, at times messy, home, schedules and runny noses get in the way of authentic community. And I’ve found myself feeling a bit lonely because of it.
If my house is a mess. Just come over. You might catch me without make-up on. Just come over. There are probably dishes in my sink. Just come over.
If you’re my friend, you’ll just come over. And instead of seeing the laundry, the dishes or my uncovered complexion, you’ll just see me. You’ll see a women who needs to be known, just as she is.
I won’t give a second glance to the laundry on your floor or the spit up on your shirt if you don’t notice mine! But let’s make it a point to get together. Invite me over. I’ll invite you over. Lets sit in the mess and talk about life. Lets be the kind of women that get to know the real mess we’re hiding behind the make up, smiles and swept floors. Let’s do this life together.... and lets bring our husbands along for the fun because our marriages need that connection too!
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