2015

Did 2016 sneak up on anyone else?

It feels like I slept through most of December but the reality is.... I didn’t get much sleep at all in December. My entire family had two straight weeks of sickness. First a cold with a fever and then.... the dreaded stomach bug. I’m happy to report that we all survived and honestly, it wasn’t that bad. I’m thankful to have that experience under my belt because my only reservation in having multiple children was the fear of them all puking at the same time. Luckily they staggered it out so I could take care of them one at a time! 

I’ve not had nearly enough time to sit back and think about all that happened in 2015 but what I do know is that our year included:

A lot of joy... 

A lot of heartache... 

A lot of unknown... 

And in every bit of it we’ve seen God’s hand.

February 13th, the day Liam Thatcher officially joined our family, was the highlight of my year. I held him and wept through the days following his birth. It was embarrassing actually. Luis was so concerned and kept asking me what was wrong. The only words I could actually get out most times were, “I. love. him. so. much.” I looked at him through tear filled eyes knowing that I was holding a tangible piece of God’s goodness in my arms. I believe that all good things are from the Lord but this sweet gift felt so different. It felt so personal. We tried for almost two years to get pregnant with Liam and finally got a positive test just six weeks after my mom passed away. I remember holding that positive test and thanking God not just for that baby... but for His perfect timing. A few months prior I was desperate to get pregnant knowing my mom didn’t have much time left on earth. And if I’m being totally honest, I battled the feeling that God owed me at least that since He wasn’t going to heal my mom. I begged God to let her be a part of it. 

He did answer that very prayer, just not how I expected him to... because when I looked at that positive test I knew she was a part of it. 

The day we left the hospital to take Liam home and start our life as a family of four I remember feeling such joy. The kind of joy that sits deep inside and doesn’t come from anything in this world... not even from a sweet newborn baby. I felt so different. I realized I was leaving a season of mourning. Watching my mom die changed me and for a long time it kept me frozen spiritually. It was as if all I could do in that season was cling to Jesus. I remember describing it to a friend as though I had wrapped my arms around Christ and I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t pursue Him but I needed Him. I wasn’t angry but I was frozen there, standing on the solid truths I knew deep within my heart while clinging to Him and trusting that He would sustain me. And He did. He had prepared me for that moment and when I needed Him the most, He never let me go.


Liam’s birth was such a clear reminder that God always takes care of me and He is always working for my good, even in the worst  circumstances. His heart is for me and His timing is always, always perfect. 
O Lord, be my helper.
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

When we settled at home and I opened my bible for the first time I came across this verse:

Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me;

That my soul may sing praise to you and not be silent.

Psalm 30:10-12

I cried again as I thanked God for doing just that for me. He had turned my mourning into gladness. 

He is good, all the time. In life. In death. On the mountain and in the valley. When He gives and when He takes away.

What was the best moment of 2015 for you?